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"I know just how you feel."
"I know exactly what he/she will say."
"Why didn't you know how I felt?"
Any of these quotes ring a bell with you ?

From time to time we can all become the mind reader within a relationship, or wish that our partner had that ability. Remember the last time you desperately wanted to be understood without having to explain yourself? If that is the case you may recognise these scenarios:-

For couples in a long-standing relationship assumptions can lead to stagnation, distancing and loss of realistic contact.

"He/she will never understand, I've said it all before, there's no point in trying. I'm keeping quiet."

In a new relationship some of the 'mind reading' may be based on the characteristics and behaviour patterns of an ex., which we then project on to our present partner.

"You're bound to get annoyed now, that's just what I expect."

To take a break from the 'mind reading game ' try a reality test, take time to discover your partner's true feelings, thoughts or reactions... you could both be surprised.

Also try checking out what the other person actually heard you say. The words they heard, and what you were thinking at the time, may be quite different.

I'm reminded of the Ray Charles number "What'd I say."

In the recording we hear a call from the singer and then a repetition by the audience. Not heard it before? So now there's something else to try. Once you begin to reality test your communications you achieve a truer picture of you relationship.

If you would like further information please contact :-
Hilary Jeffries Dip. Coun. MBACP (Accredited) 0161 962 1073